"I HAVE NO REGRETS, EVEN BEFORE GOD ON JUDGEMENT DAY."
I would have far more regrets, once leaving this world, had I not fufilled my desires. That would be a travesty. To make a trip across the universe from a place that I have no memory of, with intentions to partake in human desires and experiences: birth, food, sex; find myself here, ready and able to fulfill my intended desires, and suddeny becoming stymied and aborting my mission? I am not a masoch*st.
That would indicate cowardice, being born into a world that is in many ways akin to a carnival, desiring to partake in the amusem*nts, the ferris wheel, the bumper cars, (hooo-ahhh) the merry-go-round, cotton candy, hot dogs, pop corn, apizza fritta, (Italian carnivals) and instead, sitting on the park bench watching, waiting, wanting.
When you decide that you have had quite enough, the money can be reaccumulated. But, a lifetime of experiences can not be fulfilled when the body is too feeble and struggling to eat his pureed peas and carrots. (and still maintaining a hefty bank account to leave to someone else to monger for him)
And, I will never forget a story told to me by an old mamasan from China. "A faithful husband on his death bed, surrounded by his loving dedicated wife and family, nearing his last breath on this earth, cried out in great pain and remorse, 'I only had one woman.'"
He did not have the courage to fulfill his desires.
Even the ancient teachings of the east teach that if one is unable to be as stoic and resolute as the Buddha, to walk away from all desires, (and he was a young prince with a young wife and concubines) then it is better to fulfill your desires to completion, and find your freedom and happiness, devoid of all sensation, after you are convinced that you "had enough."
But the operative words above, "had enough," or learning to cut away the non-essential visits are the key.
I have had a lifetime of wonderful women, like all of you, and I have satisfied 90% of my sexual desires. The desires that I have left are few, but intense; not frivolous frequent spurts of sem*n. If that is all I need, my own hand is fully capable. I have reached the point to be able to separate the essential from the non-essential visits.
"Sex-With-So-Many-Women" was a school that I attended, and now I am nearing graduation. It is a great time for me. I find myself on the top of the roof of my building, staring into the sky, concentrated on a mantra, contemplating union with all of existence, The Great Universal Womb, as opposed to a single isolated warm c*nt. But, uniting with a single woman's genitalia and love on so many occasions has prepared me for this much grander endeavor.
Like mentioned above by other wise and discerning members of his board, it was always when I had excess cash that I splurged. I certainy woud not miss a house or car payment or college payment or fail to feed my family or not have enough for a famiy vacation, to afford the habit. I always did the hobby on the cheap. NEVER going to high priced girls. Always met with the common girls in the poorman's brothels. I like those humble girls far more. We can relate to each other. We are both still trying to find ourselves. I find those girls to be more real, honest. (most of the time) There is far less disparity between us.
But, a time comes in every mongers life, after filling his senses with every manner of myriad sexual encounter, totally satisfying every curiosity one hundred times over, and then another one hundred times, for good measure, just to make sure that every perverted desire and fantasy was explored and exploited, that he must reflect and take stock as "Brother Trader 1" is doing at this juncture in his life.
As discussed here in the thread "How do you guys quit?," many want to jump off the merry-go-round, but the spin's momentum holds them back and even if one were to disembark, what stimulus could one find to compensate for leaving such sensual experiences? Not an easy dilemma at all.
For younger mongers, I would suggest cultivating a spiritual life simultaneously with their mongering. They are not diametrically opposed. Although, some religions, or ther interpretation of the religion, would have you believe so. Merge the two together. Treating every lover with respect, engenders no karma.
And, in my humble opinion, paying a prostitute is a far more virtuous act than enticing the girl next door with empty promises and then renegging. At least with a prostitute, you pay your bill (karmic debt to that person) in full at the door. Not a bad deal. You don't owe your neighbor's sister anything.
But, for those filled with regret over spending their earthly days in "THE HOUSE OF THE RISING SUN," and leaving their bank account there, also, you are still in pretty good shape, considering some other alternative perversions. Better than having tracks up and down your arms or commiting murder, a life sentence in jail, having many illegitimate children around the world. You lost a few dollars but really you paid tuition to a very incredible and interesting university, "The University of Sexual Knowledge and Understanding." (UG should issue a diploma to proudly display in your office)
But, if still filled with regrets, maybe it is time to find yourself on the roof with me, contemplating the vast sky, slowing down the merry-go-round and developing inner discernment to separate the essential from the non-essential visits. And, when you make an essential visit, draw it out, make it last, and juice that delicious piece of ripe fruit of every nuance of nectar, crack open the pit and eat the seed.
Essentially, what I am saying is learn how to practice a little tantra, hold back your org*sm so you can enjoy super-sessions, long sessions and expereince far more in a half hour or an hour than you would in ten other micro quick ji*zz-spill sessions. You will never regret spending money when you really got your money's worth.
Rich with the full experience and totally satisfied, the only thing left is either eating and sleeping, or if you have it within you to really get the whole pie, instead of just a slice, go to the roof for a few minutes, (or any other quiet place) fixated, and contemplate that wide vista. It will eventually change you and satisfy you.
